BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 12:16 AM on Sunday, October 5th, 2025
Hmm. I am team asparagus before the big pee
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
Pogre ( member #86173) posted at 2:19 AM on Sunday, October 5th, 2025
Unhinged...
No, I don't think you're being an asshole. In fact, I hope you can find the grave and enjoy a nice, long stinky pee
This made me spit my Coke on my computer screen. laugh
Now that I think about it....
I would suggest that he drinks 2 or 3 Cokes.
They give a good effervescence to the long stinky pee.
And asparagus. Lots of asparagus will give your pee that little extra pungent aroma.
[This message edited by Pogre at 2:19 AM, Sunday, October 5th]
Where am I going... and why am I in this handbasket?
Pogre ( member #86173) posted at 2:21 AM on Sunday, October 5th, 2025
Hmm. I am team asparagus before the big pee
Beat me to it! Lol.
Where am I going... and why am I in this handbasket?
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 12:22 PM on Tuesday, October 7th, 2025
I would be very angry that my wife was so concerned about his death that she was stupid enough to bring it up to you.
Some people just don’t know when to keep their mouth shut.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
BluerThanBlue ( member #74855) posted at 2:51 PM on Tuesday, October 7th, 2025
Even if she was foolish enough to open her mouth about OM's death, she should've at least had the brains to keep it shut after your response.
Perhaps the biggest impediment to a happy relationship with your wife isn't her lack of remorse but her utter stupidity.
[This message edited by BluerThanBlue at 2:52 PM, Tuesday, October 7th]
BW, 40s
Divorced WH in 2015; now happily remarried
I edit my comments a lot for spelling, grammar, typos, etc.
crazycatlady ( member #12849) posted at 9:39 PM on Wednesday, October 8th, 2025
If I found out FOW croaked I’d feel sorry for her kids. After that, champagne would flow.
Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none.William Shakespeare "All's Well That Ends Well"D-Day: Nov 30, 2006"For I have sworn thee fair, and thought thee bright, who art as black as hell, as dark as night." William Shakespeare
Pogre ( member #86173) posted at 12:36 AM on Thursday, October 9th, 2025
My wife wished death by seizure on her AP. She has epilepsy so it's a really soft spot for her. It was kind of shocking to hear that from her, but I can't say I'd be upset if it happened. I might even develop temporary selective amnesia for my seizure first aid courses if he went down in front of me.
Where am I going... and why am I in this handbasket?
3yrsout ( member #50552) posted at 5:08 PM on Friday, October 10th, 2025
You’re absolutely in the wrong here. Pissing is not nearly disrespectful enough.
Pissing on someone’s grave is not nearly as disrespectful as pooping on it. That would be the much better option, you silly person, you!
And if you’re a private pooper, might I suggest pooping in a bag, freezing it, then setting it on the top of the headstone while frozen?
Best done in the heat of summer……
I’m sorry your wife is incredibly dull.
WB1340 ( member #85086) posted at 5:44 PM on Friday, October 10th, 2025
I find this baffling. If you, and I'm speaking in general, are going to harbor such hatred towards your spouse's AP why don't you have the same level of hatred for your spouse? If anything, I would think you would hate your spouse more than the AP because your spouse is supposed to protect you and the relationship whereas the AP has no such obligation
Both are equally guilty in the affair. No one was held down, no one was forced, no one was blackmailed, both parties did it willingly for selfish purposes
IMO my wife's AP is truly a piece of shit. He was carrying on with my wife while his wife was waiting to have surgery to find out if she had breast cancer. He had an affair several years earlier as well and after his affair with my wife was exposed he moved on to another coworker, who had a boyfriend, and they had sex not only in the car that belongs to him and his wife but also on this woman's desk in the school.
I made sure to tell my wife all of this so she could see the type of man that she was willing to destroy a 27-year relationship over, just for some cheap compliments that made her feel good about herself. There is zero doubt in my mind that the end game was a physical affair even though my wife adamantly denies that she would have let that happen. How many times has a WS said I have no idea how it got to this :/
D-day April 4th 2024. WW was sexting with a married male coworker. Started R a week later, still ongoing...
HUM1021 ( member #6222) posted at 4:13 AM on Thursday, October 16th, 2025
I so wanted to post about asparagus until I got to the second page...Late, as usual...
Me: BS 34
Her: WS 33
M 5 years
dday with 1st OM 4/30/04 EA/PA
dday with 2nd OM 12/11/04 EA/PA
on the reconciliation rollercoaster
*This profile is 20 years old*
Vocalion ( member #82921) posted at 5:11 AM on Friday, October 17th, 2025
I have no problem at all with anybody who desires to take a good long high arcing pee on their wife's AP's grave.I think it's a very understandable urge and probably has some male territorial instinct as well as expression of deep contempt origins. IMHO any man who grooms a married woman and elicits feelings of love and connection with flattery,contrived helpfulness, feigned affection or purposeful attention in order to have sex with her is the.lowest of the low.My only.advice:just be cautious about local indecent exposure laws.
Yes, there's. No doubt that my WW was open to crossing a long string of boundaries with the married with three young children POS who propositioned her after several.months of his undivided attention. I guess my wife was an interesting and seductive challenge as a married woman for her doctor/supervisor after a diet of compliant single nurses, lab techs, x-ray techs, accounts dept. clerks, female hospital volunteers and at least one candystriper.
Unfortunately, i only received details of my wife's affair with her AP a good fifteen years after his death, and belatedly found out that he was cremated and his ashes had been dispersed into the ocean. A huge disappointment!
When she says you're the only one she'll ever love, and you find out, that you're not the one she's thinking of,That's when you're learning the game.Charles Hardin ( Buddy) Holly...December 1958
Ghostie ( new member #86672) posted at 5:09 PM on Friday, October 17th, 2025
Vocalion, I guess you could always pee in the ocean…
One thing I’m trying to sit with is that, retaliation will always be an option, especially if you have enough time, patience, resources and anger… but will it actually make us feel better in the long run?
There’s been some people who were horrendous to me on a long-standing Discord server (think, intentionally figuring out my triggers and doing things to set me off on purpose) such that I became full of hurt and fury and hatred. What I did was bide my time and get close to the owner of the server, such that he gave me admin privileges… and then I de-modded everyone else, made it so that no one could change privileges, banned everyone in the server, and deleted all the channels, effectively nuking the server. Justice served, right? If you can’t play nice, no server for you!
But it didn’t make me feel better in the long run. I still remembered what they did, and it still hurt. What made it hurt less was identifying the root trauma that was causing those triggers, and starting to work through it and heal. There are going to be bad people out there that will traumatize me further, and poison my energy. I am the one who cares most about me, and the only way to protect myself is to eliminate those vulnerabilities through healing.
ImaChump ( member #83126) posted at 9:50 PM on Friday, October 17th, 2025
OP, there is zero wrong with your response and desire to piss on the AP’s grave. As many have said, there are TONS of issues with your wife’s response. You have received lots of good advice.
By and large, my wife’s APs (yes, multiple) are non-entities to me. I blame all the cheating on her and the APs are basically just low integrity pieces of shit who are willing to partake in what a woman who walks around with a neon "open for business" sign is offering up.
That said, my wife’s second AP stood out to me because I did catch her in an "EA" with him back in 1986. We fought, and she left. I thought we were done. A couple of days later, she calls crying and asking to come home. I let her but say she has to go NC. She agrees. But she didn’t. The affair went on several more months and turned physical (if it hadn’t already been). This timeline crossed over when our daughter was conceived. I found out 36 years later…..
Also, during disclosure, my wife told me she couldn’t remember the AP’s last name. But she did. And she researched him and found out he had died in 2012. But neglected to tell me because it "would have resulted in a long talk" and she didn’t want to do that.
AP is buried in my hometown. I have a second home there. After I found out he had died, I found his grave on the website findagrave (one word) dot com (we can’t embed links here). The next time I went home, I visited his grave. I was concerned about cameras or even cell phones. So I pissed in a beer bottle and "poured one out" on his grave. Said a few choice words and then moved on. I felt like it was an appropriate closure for his involvement in my marriage.
Me: BH (62)
Her: WW (62)
D-Day: 6/27/22 & 7/23-7/25/22